Stupid concert

Welcome to the opening concert of “my name is blog James blog”. Today I’m going to teach you all the stupid things that can happen at a concert. Please, turn off your mobiles; the director had just appeared at the scene. He´s there to make the job of the musicians a bit more difficult just by using his hands.

But don´t underestimate the dangers of the director‘s work. The famous French director Lully died because he refused to cut his foot after hitting it with his metal baton while directing.

The music is starting. Get ready for the most hilarious play of the history of music. Imagine the director so happy directing with his eyes closed and suddenly, one by one, all the musicians start standing up and getting down from the scene. Yes, it´s the “farewell “symphony wrote by Haydn as an objection against the musicians' salary. But it isn’t the only musical joke of this composer: it is the second movement of a symphony. The music is sweet and calm, so slow, everybody is getting sleepy ....and suddenly the gong sounds so strong. Any of these horrible people would fall asleep again in the second movement of this surprise symphony.

And finally the” interrupted intermezzo” by Bartok. In this concerto the clarinet would clearly be confused and all the other instruments would start laughing at it by copying its errors. Even the tube and the oboe. But they shouldn’t, seeing that they are the instruments of which there are more jokes about (but not the only ones as the musicians are people that love them most, laughing at themselves).

For example, the oboes are well known for sounding like ducks, the sopranos for being incredibly narcissistic or the viola for being bad violinists. This is confirmed in the play in “Peter and the Wolf” where the oboe represents the duck.

Never forget the technical problems for a proper and surprising end of a concert. It is always a good moment for having a very obvious mistake while paying. But don’t get nervous, instead look at someone else and nobody will notice it was you.